


The Eel and the Cave

by Shauntal



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 06:37:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3559847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shauntal/pseuds/Shauntal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miroku and Sango have a talk with their kids...yes, THAT talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Eel and the Cave

For the first time in a long time, it was a peaceful day for Sango and Miroku. He had no demons to exorcise, she had none to slay. It was to be a day of relaxation and husband and wife enjoying each other’s company.

“ _MOOOOOOMMMMMM!_ ”

At least that’s what they thought, as they still hadn’t completely grasped the ‘parenthood’ concept yet. Nor did they understand why the twins Emi and Eiko were _always_ bickering. They were thick as thieves when they were toddlers, but as they got older their personalities diverged completely – Emi becoming precocious and feisty, Eiko becoming timid and naïve.

Sango rubbed her temples as the twins stormed angrily through the entrance of their home. “What happened now you two?” She sighed.

“Emi, please tell me you weren’t putting bugs in your sister’s hair again.”

“Dad...that was _one time_!” Emi groaned. “No, Eiko’s just being stupid.”

“I’m not stupid!” Eiko defended herself, sticking her tongue out.

“I didn’t say you _were_ stupid, I said you’re _being_ stupid, _stupid_!”

“ _BOTH OF YOU, STOP_.” Sango wasn’t really yelling, but the intensity of her words got her daughters to sit politely and shut their mouths. Even Miroku was sitting silently, afraid to provoke his wife any more. She finally spoke again once everyone in the room was quiet, “Now, what’s going on?”

Eiko wasted no time in speaking up first. “I was trying to tell Emi about how babies are born, but she’s calling me a liar!”

 _Oh god_... Fear gripped both parents’ hearts. They hadn’t realized how quickly their children were growing up.

“That’s because you _are_ a liar! Babies aren’t born from freaking... _beans_!” Emi responded, throwing her arms up in the air.

Now fear was replaced with confusion, as Sango and Miroku shared a puzzled look.

“They are so! When a mommy and a daddy want to have a baby, they pray to the baby fairy. Then the baby fairy comes and brings them a magical bean that the mommy has to eat. The daddy can’t eat it, because he’s too weak and if he eats it he’ll keel over and die.” Eiko made sure to awkwardly look into her father’s eyes when she said that last part. “So yeah, then the bean is in the mommy’s tummy and the baby grows for a long time until it’s ready to come out!”

“Do you hear this shit?!” Emi asked, noticing the bewilderment on her parents’ faces.

“Emi, please don’t swear, dear.” Miroku calmly responded.

“But –“

“ _STOP THAT SWEARING_.”

Once again Emi was silenced by the terrifying sound in her mother’s voice.

“Eiko, I’m not sure where you heard such a thing, but I must tell you that it isn’t true.”

Emi mouthed the words ‘told you’ to her sister. The clueless little girl scratched her head in confusion. “Then...where _do_ babies come from?”

“Oh don’t you worry my little princesses, your mom and dad will explain everything!” Miroku said enthusiastically. “As a matter of fact, we can demonstrate for you right now...”

He started rubbing Sango’s leg suggestively, and she reacted in the way she typically did when her husband was being a pervert – by smacking him in the face.

“Could you be _any_ more inappropriate?” She asked, her eye twitching in irritation. Miroku lied on the ground, laughing with embarrassment and wearing Sango’s red handprint on his cheek like a badge of shame.

“But I suppose you two are old enough to know now.” Sango said, turning back to the two girls. She took a deep breath. “Okay now, every man has an eel, and every woman has a cave. And every now and then, when a man and a woman like each other very, _very_ much, the man’s eel will go visit the woman’s cave.”

“An eel...and a cave?” Emi was trying to stifle her giggling while Eiko inquisitively raised her hand.

“Um...yes, Eiko?”

“So mom, if the man has an eel that wants to go in the woman’s cave, does she have an underwater cave? Because if not then the man would have to take the eel from its natural habitat in the water and leave it on dry land for it to shrivel up and die a slow and miserable death and that just seems unfair.”

“You do raise an excellent point there, dear.” Miroku chimed in, now seeming to be perfectly fine. “In fact it’s pretty important that the cave is wet because –“

“Because then the eel would die,” Sango interrupted. “Just like you said, sweetie.”

Eiko nodded, seemingly satisfied with her mom’s answer.

“So yeah, mom, what were you saying about the eel and the cave?” Emi asked, seemingly over her fit of laughter.

“Right, so the eel goes in and out the cave over and over again.”

“Until eventually the constant motion makes him so sick that he ends up vomiting all over the inside of the woman’s cave.”

“Eeewww.” The twins said at the same time.

“Yes girls, it’s disgusting, which is why you don’t need to have any eels within 20 feet of your caves until you are _much_ older. And if anyone tries to force their eels into your caves, your father and I will _kill them._ ”

“Anyway,” Miroku said, putting a hand on his wife’s shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. “So when that happens, the bile solidifies and forms a small ball that grows and grows until it’s an actual baby.”

“But Dad, you didn’t explain how the baby gets in the mom’s tummy!” Eiko pouted.

Both parents looked at each other nervously. Would they finally have to be straightforward and _really_ let their daughters know how children are born?

“Oh man, I can’t take this anymore.” Emi sighed. “Mom, Dad, I understand you’re trying to preserve Eiko’s innocence for as long as you can, but this is just painful to watch!” She put an arm around her sister’s shoulder. “Listen Eiko, there’s no ‘eel and a cave’, alright?”

Eiko cocked her head to the side, confused. “Then how - ?”

“They fuck.”

Neither Miroku nor Sango could believe the words that just came from their 9-year-old’s mouth. They both watched in horror as she continued to explicitly inform Eiko of where babies truly originate, using crude hand motions to illustrate. By the time she was finished, Eiko looked truly mortified. She turned to her parents with a look that was nothing short of betrayal.

“Emi...” Sango said in a weak voice, “Where did you learn that?”

“I overheard some teenagers talking about it.” She revealed proudly. “That thing you guys made up was funny though. Come on Eiko, now that this is over we can play.”

“No!” Eiko said, standing up. “I won’t play with you. You’re _disgusting_!”

“Oh, come on.” Emi grabbed Eiko’s ankle, but she kicked it away and ran outside. Rolling her eyes, Emi poked her head out the door and yelled to her sister, “Eiko, don’t be so upset! You had to learn the truth eventually!” Then she ran off, leaving her parents to bask in an awkward silence together.

“My babies...” Sango whispered.

Miroku on the other hand, seemed to be completely over the initial shock of Emi’s knowledge. “Well I suppose they had to learn eventually, didn’t they? Besides, we still have to do this at least one more time.” He pointed to their youngest child, Koutaru, who miraculously slept through all of the events that just happened.

“I guess you have a point.” She sighed. “I just don’t think I’m gonna get used to this.”

“Well you know, there is one way,” Miroku slid closer to Sango and whispered, “we could just have more kids, then it’ll get easier every time!”

“Ohh no, I don’t think so.” She pinched his cheek as hard as possible. “For the time being you can keep your ‘eel’ as far away from my ‘cave’ as possible.

 


End file.
